Do you want some unsolicited advice and encouragement? I love encouraging people and telling them things that I ought to be telling myself. Today, I’ve chosen to do exactly that: to not take your permission to give you an unscheduled pep talk–that is really for me as I continue on a lifelong quest to find myself.
I have been doing a self-guided study on success for several years, reading books and following influencers on the topic. Here are a few pointers on going after the things that are important to you.
You have to show up for you.
A bout of sickness earlier this year made me realize that I need to take better care of my health. I signed up for personal training and for a membership at my local gym. One time, I showed up to my personal training session sleep-deprived, demoralized, and just plain out-of-it. I managed to complete the entire 40-minute session, as my trainer presented challenge after challenge. He praised me at the end, saying, “Good job! You showed up for you today.”
Ultimately, your success lies in your own hands. No one could have sweated it out for me when I would have much preferred to be on my couch eating ice cream. Yes, things happen that are out of your control that feel like they impact your success. But just because you hit some bumps in the road along the way doesn’t mean you won’t ever make it to your desired destination. You have to take ownership of all outcomes, even when you think you don’t have the strength to keep going.
It’s not a rejection. It’s a redirection.
For reasons I don’t understand yet, I have experienced a lot of rejection in my current season. I have always had less-than-thick skin, although it’s gotten thicker with age. There’s still a part of me that takes rejection personally. However, I’ve experienced so much of it personally at this point that I now realize that the doors that have closed on me perhaps truly were never for me. The doors that opened after continued to become more appealing than the closed ones.
With every rejection, I have to look at myself in the mirror, wash away the tears, and make the choice to not feel sorry for myself. I allow myself to feel the shame, the sorrow, the grief for just a moment. But I make every effort to get back on track with my plan. Every rejection is a learning opportunity, a chance to reflect on what I could have done differently and what I will do differently next time around. Suddenly, the path I thought I was on isn’t quite the one I was on before, but I know in my heart that I am getting closer to where I want to be.
Just keep going. Persistence is key.
I did a self-evaluation and asked my closest friends what they thought of me, how they perceived me. One trait that kept reoccurring as they described me is persistence. When I set my mind to do something or that I want something, I go after it, and I don’t stop until I achieve it. Don’t get me wrong. It may be years before I get what I want. But I always get it.
With every setback, I try to take the emotions out of it and, against my will, take the next step. Find another way. Make another call. Send another email. Ask a friend. Pay another visit. Take the time to think through the situation once more and see what else I may not have done yet. I keep that goal, that desire front and center in my mind. While it is ideal to create balance and make room for other things in your life, I cannot deny that when a goal becomes the center of my life, it ends up getting completed. It may zap all my energy, but knocking on–and if needed, kicking down–every single door I encounter will inevitably lead to success.
Exercise discipline.
This is a quality I admire so much in athletes that I am trying hard to develop in my own life. I think it’s so important to not only understand what your goals are, but also to know what actions you’ll need to get there–along with follow-through. Even if you’re not a morning person, it is better to get up earlier than you need to just to get ahead of your day and not feel rushed. It takes discipline, too, to ignore the notifications on your phone and not be tempted to pop into social media for a “quick” distraction. Devoting focus and energy to your goal, pouring your heart into it and turning away from activities that detract from it, will get you to where you want to be.
Eat the frog. Grab the bull by the horns, etc.
Do things you loathe doing but know are important first thing in your day. Don’t do anything else until those things are done. You will feel so much more empowered knowing that you accomplished what mattered, what will move the needle, what will bring you closer to success. Anything else you get done in a day is gravy. The biggest small victories you can gain in a day is crossing off the top 1-3 items on your to-do list. Develop an agile mindset, and constantly ask yourself, “What can I do right now that will have the most impact?” And sometimes it’s as simple as eating lunch, going to the gym, indulging in a nap, or taking a shower.
What other words of advice would you add to this list? What are you contending for in your life where you can apply some of these principles? I would love to hear from you and dialogue on this topic.